Spamrider of the Apocalypse

”It is odd to watch with what feverish ardor Americans pursue prosperity, ever tormented by the shadowy suspicion that they may not have chosen the shortest route to get it. They cleave to the things of this world as if assured that they will never die, and yet rush to snatch any that comes within their reach as if they expected to stop living before they had relished them… Death steps in, in the end, and stops them before they have grown tired of this futile pursuit of that complete felicity which always escapes them.”

-Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy In America, 1840

The more things change…

But it’s a scientifically proven fact that 99.44% of the time no matter what you do you cannot create a time paradox situation whereby you change the Future which you may or may not have previously inhabited*.   So here goes…

THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS GOING TO BE A SOUTHPAW.

Yeh, I said it.

*That is to say, The Future is set in stone just as surely as The Past (99.44%), so you generally cannot go back in time and prevent the birth of your worst enemy by killing his Grandfather (though you could theoretically become your worst enemy’s Grandfather by going back in time and impregnating his Grandmother.  But that’s neither here nor there) because the fact that your worst enemy was born in the first place demonstrates quite clearly that his Grandfather, whoever he may have been, wasn’t killed before he was able to produce progeny.

And, even if you were to succeed, you would only be destoying the Future you knew, which also happens to be the very one that gives rise to you, and that doesn’t leave you standing in a very good position now does it?

So basically you can’t change what happened, and the only reason you think you can change what happens is because you don’t know what it is yet.  (The Omniscients call this “Free Will for Dummies”.)

In The Future it will begin to occur to some people that one of the major reasons we have so many problems in the world today is that instead of seeing science as a means of obtaining pure knowledge and enlightenment with which we might better ourselves as a race, we look upon it as something to exploit, as if the sole purpose and benefit of science was to aid us in fulfilling our every desire.

That is to say, we mainly think of science as a way of “getting” things, whether they be the newest gadgets and gizmos, or the latest “miracle cure”.

What we unfortunately have forgotten is that everything we think or create has ever-spiraling consequences, and if we were to look rationally at all the problems we’re causing by thinking we always need new and better things, we would inevitably come to the conclusion that we need to scale back our desires a little bit, or at the very least not be so rash in rushing to fulfill them.

In short, science has allowed us to fuck shit up faster and to a greater degree than we ever could before while we were still ignorant.

Which is exactly why the Interplanetary Time & Space Council secretly empowered the evangelicals to take it away from us.

(You didn’t think they got into power because God wanted it, did you??)

Of course it turns out in doing so they inadvertantly created some even bigger problems, but alas, that story will continue to unfold in due time…